There was a time where it felt like my days were just happening to me.

Wake up. Commute. Work. Scroll. Sleep. Repeat.

Initially, it didn’t feel like there was anything wrong. I was functioning. Had a simple routine. I was responsible and productive. But somewhere, under all the alarm clocks and emails, I realised that I was living as a supporting character in my own life.

And I rebuked that. Expeditiously.

Becoming the “main character” isn’t about arrogance. It’s not about being delulu. It’s about agency. It’s about choosing to be a willing participant in your existence instead of watching it from the sidelines and just letting life happen to you.

For me, I started small. I made small tweaks to my morning routine.

Instead of reaching for my phone as soon as I opened my eyes, I started doing morning stretches. Doing my morning skincare routine. Created a soft playlist for when I get ready, not because I was going somewhere glamourous, but because I did. My life is somewhere worth arriving for.

That was the shift.

The Shift

Romanticising your routine isn’t about pretending that everything is perfect. It’s about noticing that your life is worthy of tenderness, even in its quietest form.

For years, I thought that the “main character” moments would come with time.

When I started earning more.

When I travelled more.

When I felt more accomplished.

When everything finally “aligned”.

But life doesn’t start when you hit a milestone. It’s happening in the in-between.

It’s in the way you plate your dinner, even if you’re eating alone.

It’s in the playlist that you make specifically for your commute.

It’s in the decision to take the long way home because the street lights aren’t on yet and you want to bask in the last few remnants of sunlight.

The Real Tea…

I started looking into pole dancing classes. I signed up for Salsa lessons. Pilates after work. Ice skating lessons once a week. Jogging, even when I’m conscious that I’m not as athletic as I once was.

I began travelling more intentionally, even if it was a 30-minute plane ride away.

No part of this was about aesthetics. They were about authorship.

Main characters make decisions (My neurospicy brain is crying rn). They pursue. They try. They risk embarrassing themselves. They prioritising what gives them joy.

I used to think that discipline meant restriction. Now I understand that discipline can also be about devotion. Devotion to the kind of life I want to experience.

Becoming the main character in your routine is about going from “I have to do this” to “I get to shape this”.

It’s a subtle but life changing difference.

This usually involves dressing well even if you’re going to the office.

Learning something new at 26, just because you can.

It means not treating your health as a punishment, but as a partnership.

A Power Move

There’s so much power in deciding to add texture to your life.

Not just chasing the next milestone, but enriching experiences.

Soft mornings, structured afternoons, intentional evenings.

As a former people pleaser, I used to seek external validation to feel significant. Like I mattered. I would chase a relationship, a fancy job. Applause, because I felt like they would add value to my life.

I used to think it would make my life worth living.

But I eventually learned to value something else above all of that.

Self-respect.

When you become the main character in your own life, you stop looking to other people to tell you who you are.

You stop shrinking yourself to make other people more comfortable.

You stop postponing your joy.

You start to ask yourself “What would the most confident, grounded version of myself do?”

And then…gradually…you start to do it.

The New Me

This year, I’ve been more deliberate. More intentional. Less of a passenger princess.

My routine hasn’t changed that much on paper. I still work. I still commute. I still have responsibilities.

But I move differently within it.

I notice more.

I choose more.

I cherish more.

And it’s made such a huge difference.

I know that future-me is thanking me for it.

Being the main character in your own routine isn’t about drama. It’s about presence.

It’s about understanding that this, this ordinary Wednesday, this quiet Thursday is your life.

It’s not the trailer.

It’s not the rehearsal.

This is the film.

And you deserve to be at the centre of it.

If you enjoyed this post, you might like my other posts, Life Lately: Slower, Quieter, More Intentional and A Guide to Romanticising Everyday Hobbies.

See you in the next one!

-Bibi x